Poems and Songs

These are poems that I have collected during my journey. I have found them comforting during my darkest days. None of them were written by myself. I have included the author when known.

Part of Me...
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often say your name.
But all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I'll never part.
God has you in His keeping. I have you in my heart.
I shed tears for what might have been. A million times I've cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly. In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place, no one can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn't go alone.
For part of me went with you, the day God took you home.
-Author unknown

Waiting for our rainbow...
At first the tears fell like a relentless storm as the thunder crashed in my soul
I fought day after day to make it through the rain to once again become whole
Each second a battle within me as I survived only from one heartbeat to the next
The thought of living the rest of my life without you seemed impossible to me at best
At times I merely existed, a shell of the person I was before you were gone
Months and months went by and the storm became more of a slow and steady rain
My heart ached for you every waking moment and with each breath I took
My mind constantly filled with thoughts of what you would be doing now
I longed for the joy of hearing you laugh and seeing you smile for the first time
I still could not comprehend why our time together seemed but just a moment
The months turned into a year and the rain had become just a light sprinkle
The clouds had begun to lift and the sun slowly peeked through
Shining at times just enough to make me able to laugh again
Inside I still missed you each day, but I smiled more and cried less
as my journey carried me one step at a time, closer to peace and happiness
One year has now become over three and the rainbow has come out after the rain
It’s colors are bright and beautiful just like the colors you brought to my life
From the tears has bloomed a garden of friends I would never have known without you
I have found an inner strength I didn’t even know existed until you came along
Your brief presence in my life has given me more than I ever dreamed possible
I know that you are always with me, a part of me, just as I am a part of you
When I tell others about you now, I know they can see you there in my eyes
Any tears shed now are happy ones because one day we’ll be reunited in paradise
My angels, I thank God each day for giving me the gift of being your Mother.
Having you helped make me the person I am today,
because of you I am forever changed.
-Karen Venter

My Mommy is a Survivor
My Mommy is a survivor or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mommy, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others... a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mommy tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her... and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says... no matter what she feels.
My surviving mommy has a broken heart
That time wont ever heal...
-author unknown

My daddy is survivor too...
My daddy is a survivor too
which is no surprise to me.
He's always been like a lighthouse
that helps you cross a stormy sea.
But, I walk with my daddy each day to lift him when he's down.
I wipe the tears he hides from others;
He cries when no one's around.
I watch him sit up late at night with my picture in his hand.
He cries as he tries to grieve alone, and wishes he could understand.
My daddy is like a tower of strength.
He's the greatest of them all!
But, there are times when he needs to cry...
Please be there when he falls.
Hold his hand or pat his shoulder...
And tell him it's okay.
Be his strength when he's sad,
Help him mourn in his own way.
Now, as I watch over my precious dad from the Heavens up above...
I'm so proud that he's a survivor... And, I can still feel his love.
-author unknown

What makes a Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.'
But God, can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this,
God I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile with other children and say:
"We go to earth to learn our lessons Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are ok
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
-author unknown

Don't judge the bereaved mother...
Do not judge the bereaved mother.
She comes in many forms.
She is breathing, but she is dying.
She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She walks, she talks, she cooks,
she cleans, she works, she IS
but she IS NOT all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.
A child that loses a parent is an orphan.
A husband that loses his wife is a widower.
A wife who loses her husband is a widow.
However, there is no word for a parent that loses a child.
For there is no word to describe such pain.
-author unknown

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women that become mothers without effort,
without thought, without patience or loss and though
they are good mothers and love their children, I know
that I will be better.

I will be not be better because of genetics, or money or that
I have read more books but because I have struggled and
toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I
have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over
and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have
appreciation are those who have struggled to attain
their dreams. I will notice EVERYTHING about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and
discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the
rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night
to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort,
hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take
another temperature, pop another pill, take another
shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be
crying for me.

I count myself blessed in this sense; that God has
given me this insight, this special vision with which
I will look upon my child that my friends will not

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a
child that God leads me to, I will not be careless
with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,
neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my
own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many
never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from
their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see
it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it
less lonely. I have learned the immense power of
another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that
moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and
when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion
that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.
-author unknown

A Different Child

A different child, People notice,
There's a special glow around you.
You grow, Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy,
In your mother's and father's eyes.
And sometimesBetween the smiles,
There's a trace of tears.
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand,
There once was another child.
A different child.
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes.
That child will never keep them up at night.
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment.
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious,
How infinitely fragile,
Is this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman,
You may see another mother's tears,
Another father's silent grief.
Then you, and you alone
Will understand.
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I am only here because
my mother tried again."
- Pandora Diane Waldron

The Loss Of A Child

The moment that I knew you had died,
My heart split in two,
The one side filled with memories,
The other died with you.

I often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheek.

Remembering you is easy,
I do it every day,
But missing you is a heartache,
That never goes away.

I hold you tightly within my heart,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on without you,
But it never will be the same.

For those who still have their children,
Treat them with tender care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and they are not there.

Don't tell me that you understand,
don't tell me that you know.
Don't tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.

Don't tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed.
That I am chosen for the task,
Apart from all the rest.

Don't come at me with answers
That can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.

Don't stand in pious judgment
Of the bonds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to grieve,
Don't tell me when to cry.

Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, "My friend, I care."

Here are a list of songs and artists that I have found to be helpful in my grieving process. Many are also great choices for memorial or funeral ceremonies.

Save A Place For Me by Matthew West
Held by Natalie Grant
With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman
Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks
He'll Carry You by Hilary Weeks
If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens
I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me
Go Rest High on That Mountain by Vince Gill
When God made you by Newsong/Natalie Grant
My Name by George Canyon
Shine Your Light by Robbie Robertson
Keep Singing by Mercy Me
The Lord's Prayer by Sister Janet Mead
Homesick by Mercy Me
Glory Baby by Watermark
Angels Among Us by Alabama
I Believe by Diamond Rio
Streets of Heaven by Sherrie Austin
Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns

Lullaby by Dixie Chicks
Baby Mine by Allison Krause
When You Love Someone by Bryan Adams
Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne
Ocean Size Love by Leigh nash
Bring On the Rain by Jo Dee Messina
Stay by Little Big Town
How Do I Live Without You by Leann Rimes
Can't Cry Hard Enough by Susan Ashton
Not a Day Goes By by Lonestar
Angel by Sarah McLachlan
Angels by Robbie Williams
To Where You Are by Josh Groban
Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton
One More Day by Diamond Rio
Remember Me by Josh Groban
There You'll Be by Faith Hill
Precious child by Karen Taylor Good
Endless love by Mariah Carey
You'll be in My Heart by Phill Collins